Dharma Etiquette — What Some Westerners Don’t Know
We are happy to meet and greet new visitors, and we have provided this little guide to help you feel comfortable and understand some of the traditions and practices of Tibetan Buddhism. Remember that a monastery is where Westerners meet an Eastern religious tradition integrated into Tibetan culture; for some of us, it is an unfamiliar setting. Your respect for the traditions and practices of this tradition is highly appreciated.
Therefore, when visiting the monastery, please keep in mind that monasteries are places where people engage in spiritual practice and where Buddhist practitioners cultivate more merit by:
Being respectful of others,
Being aware of problems associated with making stereotypes
Reflecting on the Buddha’s profound teachings and creating a positive mental frame
Remaining as quiet as possible when visiting monasteries.
Some Guidelines for Visiting the Monastery
When entering the shrine room, Buddhist practitioners make three prostrations facing the shrine or a short bow with their hands folded. Prostrating symbolizes surrendering the self (ego) and embracing the wish to benefit all beings.
Buddhist attire is flexible and conforms to the country’s acceptable social norms and customs. However, revealing clothing, such as tank tops, short skirts, shorts, and the like, may be inappropriate in temple or shrine rooms.
We remove our shoes and hats before entering the shrine room.
Inside the Shrine Hall
When many visitors enter the Gompa at once, they should move away from the doors to avoid disturbing the traffic flow.
When other lay members perform prostrations, one should avoid walking in front of them.
Dharma items used by monks or other practitioners are private, and one should obtain permission before touching or using other practitioners’ items. Please do not touch items on the altar, but feel free to look closer at the various ritual objects and sacred texts on the altar and in the shrine room.
Conversations should be kept to a minimum in and around the shrine room, as people often do silent sitting meditation and other practices there.
Because books on Buddhism contain scriptures, we consider them Holy. We never place them on the floor or a sitting cushion. This practice applies to Dharma books, puja texts, ritual implements, meditation texts, and prayer beads (malas). You may want to use a small table or shelf or have someone hold them while you perform prostrations and arrange your seat. Please do not step over Dharma books, articles, implements, or seat cushions.
When moving through a crowded shrine room, please try not to step or pass over the top of another person’s body (i.e., legs, knees, or feet). When seated, if others are passing by, raise your knees so the person doesn’t have to step over you. Stepping over is considered disrespectful and rude.
Additional Notes on Conduct
Lying down in the shrine room or lying down in the teacher’s presence shows great discourtesy.
The acceptable posture is to sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor. If that is difficult because of a specific physical problem, sitting in a chair in the back of the shrine room is permissible.
Do not sit with your legs outstretched (i.e., with the soles of your feet facing the teacher and altar). Stretching your legs in this way is considered impolite and disrespectful. Please honor our teachers and shrine room by sitting as comfortably as possible without pointing your feet frontwards or lying down.
Cover your mouth when yawning, coughing, laughing with a broad, gaping mouth, or blowing your nose openly in the presence of a teacher, monastic, or in a shrine room.
Please show respect and kindness in your speech, thoughts, and actions toward our Sangha (i.e., monks or nuns) and each other. They are great sources of merit for everyone.
When turning pages of Dharma books or meditation texts, please do not wet your fingers with your tongue to turn the pages.
Please do not place your mala on the ground, the floor, or the bed. Never take your mala into the bathroom. During teachings and initiations, do not recite mantras or count beads unless told to do so as part of the teachings or initiations.
When pointing to a teacher, monastic, or painting (tangka), indicate with the right hand open, fingers extended, and palm up. Please do not point with your index finger; this is very rude.
